It's the end of the day, the first in this new week following the summer solstice. As much as it pains me, the Great Intergalactic Council demands to know what I've accomplished, today and each day for the remainder of my trial period, because they want to objectively determine if I must be got ridden of, or if I can instead be kept around. They're just so mean...

Well then, today absolutely flew by and this moment came sooner than expected, and now this is kind of a huge problem. Because today I've done so little things that, if I were to just say those, alarm bells would immediately start going off among the Council's heads. But I still have to send them something, and lying is entirely out of the question with those crooks. So... I'll instead list what I have NOT done today, because that's an impressively big compilation!

"Hello, Great Council"—of shitheads, I would add, but sadly I can't say that. "This is what I've done today. I will go by chronological order, so that my uniqueness more clearly shines trough the text."

"This morning I didn't get up on time"... great way to start. Indeed, I still took my good 20 minutes minimum to get out of bed, but that's obviously not all: I should have set the alarm much earlier, to wake up at a more decent time, but that would have meant not sleeping enough, because yesterday I stayed up late... doing nothing really.

"I did hear and recognize the alarm, though, and didn't fall asleep again", which I guess is better than some other times. Small things. Oh and, technically... "I did get enough sleep tonight, but not in excess." Unfortunately, all those ZZZ hours haven't really recharged me at all... as always.

"I had my breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner today", what a surprise. "And at random times during the day I've also freed my bladder, intestine, and the other thing", which I'm sure will be a pleasure as well as a surprise to read for them.

These ones seem positives, but they probably aren't: "I mostly haven't avoided doing my bed, washing myself and changing my attire; but I tried my best to avoid watering the plants and dusting my room, and at the end I actually didn't!" Crazy how many things the day is composed of.

"I didn't read, watch serious things, or play games"; this will put their rage mainly to rest, I hope. "I also didn't code or even try to fix the management part of my projects a bit today", because I'm just so tired... or well, I didn't have the required mental energy, to phrase it better. "As well, I didn't shitpost at all; or even seriouspost, for that matter. And other kinds of writing are obviously impossible, so they didn't happen."

"I didn't cook" (because my parents did, lol) "didn't exit my house at all, not even on the balcony" (because it's just so hot, and it's not like there's anything to do outside anyways) "and I didn't do any drugs" (not that I ever do, but I need to use them all to make it seem like I'm better than I actually am). "Unrelated: I opened various links and tabs in the web browser, but haven't saved any, hooray!"

"On the academic front, I obviously didn't study or repeat anything — I haven't opened a single book or notebook, really — and still didn't book any of the exams I should do this session. Zero-books zone right now, in essence"... not that it's an issue; I mean, there have been no issues for the entire month of June with my not-caring-enough, why should there now be some just because the number for the month has gone up?

"I have many messages to reply to from many days prior, but I didn't. Actually, today I didn't even check if I got any new one since yesterday", because what if I actually do, and then I have to stress over responding to them? "And this is it for what matters, I think."

"Obviously I haven't gone to sleep already, but I'm now going to do so. But first, I wrote this message as you asked (I hope it finds you well), and I'm sending it now!" (Putting this just for completeness' sake, really.)

Oh, finally! I'm very proud of such a report, but I suppose this is still the end for me. Well, it will be at the end of the season, if things repeat like they did today... and let's be serious: I would need some actual spacial magic, if not a miracle altogether, to have my rotting soul be cleansed and saved, now that things have gone so far bad. I just hope that they have WiFi, in the Shadow Realm, or I will end up living the rest of my days truly without being able to do anything!